"I don't have enough experience for this position," "I got lucky," "soon everyone will reveal that I know nothing," "I can't handle it," "only the best professionals can get here, so why am I trying?"Sounds familiar? Congratulations, you have just confirmed the signs of imposter syndrome. What is this syndrome, and where does it come from? Imposter syndrome is classically interpreted as a psychological phenomenon in which a person cannot assess their achievements due to hard work, abilities, and qualities.
Interestingly, the feeling that you are "about to be exposed" does not depend on the actual level of intelligence, position, or social status. For instance, after receiving the third "Oscar," world-famous actress Meryl Streep said, "Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie? And I don't know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?”
How people become "imposters"
"We all come from childhood," the French writer Antoine de Saint-Exupery once said. He was right: basic and repetitive behavior patterns are formed during childhood and adolescence. Most often, "imposters" are children who were raised according to two possible scenarios:
A big family where one of the siblings was a favorite of parents, peers, or teachers, and the other was constantly compared to him.
Families where the affection and love of the parents were determined by the level of a child's achievements.
In both cases, the healthy development of the personality is deformed. The child may not feel deficient in meeting basic physical or material needs but be in dire need of moral warmth, trust, and unconditional love and affection from the parents. Since the family is the first and most important environment that determines our self-identification, the very understanding that we are worthy of love not for achievements but simply for the fact of our existence allows us to set adequate goals in adulthood, build harmonious relationships, and have healthy self-esteem.
If this does not happen, the following pattern is firmly set in mind: "My achievements determine me as a person." In the short term, this method can work quite well. Such people are often involved in several projects at once, have a wide range of acquaintances, and succeed because of the fear of being disclosed. However, in the long run, external indicators of social success border with nervous tension, perfectionism, and emotional burnout.
Being an "imposter" is often reinforced by the fear of being abandoned, the inability to hold on to the bar, and not being competent enough to be worthy of people and things you want.
Are there any scientific studies of the imposter syndrome?
In 1978, American psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes surveyed some women. They published an article that noted that most respondents considered themselves insufficiently intelligent and their achievements — overestimated.
It was Clance and Imes who coined the term "imposter syndrome." There are also other studies, including:
"The imposter phenomenon: Recent research findings regarding dynamics, personality and family patterns and their implications for treatment," the 1993 study by Joe Langford and Pauline Rose Clance carried out.
"Imposters Everywhere," a scientific article by Richard Felder, Hoechst Celanese Professor Emeritus of Chemical Engineering at NC State University.
BBC podcast "A nagging fear of being found out" by Clare Yarwood White, Janette Rawlinson, and Sue Firth.
"9 telltale signs you have imposter syndrome," an article by Hunter College performance coach and human behavior professor Melody Wilding.
Imposter syndrome is NOT a disease; it is not diagnosed clinically and, despite the primary research, is not an innate trait. It is classically believed that everyone in a given situation can experience this syndrome. Still, the conditions that serve as triggers for its development are diverse and are not subject to specific classification.
It should be noted that most of these studies concerned women and their behavioral characteristics related to women's gender roles in society. For example, women are less likely to declare their success publicly, more likely to care about their careers in the male team, and more likely to expect approval of their behavior.
This prevalence of models of women's behavior since women's emancipation is a very young phenomenon. Feminist movements of the late 19th and early 20th centuries enabled women in a number of countries to vote, hold public office, have labor and property rights (there is still no equal pay in the world), education, physical integrity, integrity, protection from rape, sexual harassment and other forms of violence against women but still did not free women from social stereotypes, especially in countries where individualism was majority suppressed (for example, in Ukraine during the USSR there were women's departments that worked on illiteracy, employment and communist agitation, but feminism was classified as bourgeois ideology, and hence the anti-Soviet counter-revolutionary).
The difference in men's and women's experiences helps to understand the nature of gender behavior and the prevalence of imposter syndrome among both sexes. For example, a study published in the International Journal of Behavioral Studies in 2011 showed that men also tend to feel like impostors, although most often in career and professional competition matters.
Same, same, but different
Although imposter syndrome has been studied many times, it was interesting for me to explore in practice how strongly gender and cultural characteristics affect the feeling of an imposter. To do this, I decided to interview men and women from different countries, different ages, and types of activities and answer the question: are we equal in the face of this threatening syndrome?
“I have a degree in chemical technology, but I have never worked in my specialty. I graduated from the University of Physical Education and worked in a fitness center for almost five years. During this time, I grew from a fitness consultant to a deputy director and resigned... to nowhere. Since then, I began to look for my life purpose. I felt like soon, everyone would know that I am not capable of anything. I didn't know before that there was an explanation for this feeling, but when I found it out, I started working with it consciously,” says Anna from Kyiv.
Oksana, 60, recalls, “I already have three grandchildren, and I still can't accept compliments, care, or gifts. I was never praised as a child. When I got married, I ignored compliments and gifts from my husband, saying, "Why did you spend money?" instead of realizing that he sincerely wanted it, and I'm worth it!"
Insta blogger Inna shares her experience: “A few years ago, I read a post about impostor syndrome. In the comments, dozens of girls shared their stories and did not dare to write their own. Helped by Instagram. I got great feedback and only then saw the whole picture: most of my life, I underestimated myself because of my childhood attitudes! I unsubscribed from everything unnecessary: familiar acquaintances, toxic people, and uninteresting content. I believe that the more we talk publicly about the problem of underestimating ourselves, the more people will understand that they are not alone. I've always been the best for my family, and it's been a great background to who I am now, but the school has taught me that I'm not special and have no talent. There are too many stereotypes in our society that men are smarter than women, although it doesn't depend on sex. But it influences the kids' upbringing. Therefore, some develop confidence from childhood, and others — leave a secondary role. It's still hard for me not to compare myself to someone, and to overcome that, I'm just looking for successful role models".
"The imposter syndrome can be both a motivation to grow and a magnet for fear and insecurity," says my friend Katya, "I began to praise myself for small achievements and stopped devaluing my talents. It is important to understand where your thoughts are coming from. If you think you're not good enough at something, first make sure it's true. It can be a brain trap because on the way out of the comfort zone, we always cling to familiar and therefore safe patterns".
Palina from Belarus confirms my opinion that it is difficult to be an individualist in post-Soviet countries. According to her, in many cases, "imposters" are often brought up by the existing education system — "greenhouse" conditions, the devaluation of the creative approach to solving problems, and constant comparison with others, especially when raising girls.
"We must realize the responsibility for self-love, it is impossible to have approval from everyone. You can do what you don't like for years, for fear of trying something new and being disappointed," adds Palina.
Palina also successfully noticed the general mental tendency of the older generations of post-Soviet countries: C'est la vie, it is unavoidable. Did something go well? You just got lucky! These often-said words meet with painful resistance whenever someone around me broadcasts them.
Kristina from Northern Macedonia recalls, “It has always been personal for me. I was raised by a father who had high expectations, and it felt like I was never enough. I started journaling about it and saw certain patterns. As soon as you look deeper, you can change your behavior and try things you used to be afraid of: debating, hosting events... I talked a lot with my friends and realized that they went through similar things. And my imposter syndrome has passed."
And what about men? My research would not be complete without the participation of men.
Thus, political analyst Oleksandr from Kyiv believes that totalitarian, collectivist societies often instill inferiority syndromes, considering a person as a "cog in the system."
"It is quite probable that with such an upbringing and in such an environment, a person will be inclined to perceive all his achievements as something brought in from outside — by the party, the state, and society — but not as his achievement. At the same time, all the negativity will already be considered individual. And a person who has complexes is a perfect fit for a totalitarian system. We need a new culture of education and relationships in society. Perhaps, only then, we will forget about the cliche that initiative is punishable,” adds Oleksandr.
Chris from Germany has not encountered the imposter's syndrome personally but is willingly reflecting on its causes: "I think it's the fear of creating the hope for success and then not justifying it. It's similar to thinking that you definitely won't lose if you don't try.”
Adam from Poland appreciates his achievements but notes that from time to time, he demands more of himself than he needs now, and others often see in his achievements a little more than he does.
Life coach Rob from Ireland has experienced the painful feeling of being an imposter and even shares his own experience and tips for overcoming it in his blog, “We tend to exaggerate what others know and belittle what we know. The downside of focusing on this feeling is that we cannot allow it to overcome us. I recommend realizing your own vulnerability and admitting to yourself that you don't know everything. That may be enough to overcome it. Change the direction of your thoughts, and don't let anything stop you from achieving your career, relationships, or other goals!"
So many people, so many minds. A number of my surveys have shown that most people temporarily experience imposter syndrome, but it is more common among women, especially in post-Soviet countries. During the interview, men showed more self-confidence and were more worried not about the opinion of others but about their careers and the number of efforts made to achieve the results. Therefore, my conclusion is that the formation of the imposter syndrome is primarily influenced by family, gender, and cultural and historical background.
What if you read the article and realized you can relate to the imposter syndrome? Realize that you are more than enough. Always. Just by the fact of your existence. Try not to become the best, but to be a better version of yourself. Everyone experiences a traumatic experience throughout their lives — through family, environment, or job. But bad memories give us valuable lessons that, in turn, can change our lives. Growing up, we have to realize that we should learn to be the most caring and loving parents to ourselves. As soon as we resolve our internal conflicts, we will begin to attract situations and people not out of fear that something will not work out but out of awareness of our true desires. This is how a happy life begins. The life that we deserve.